Goalsetting, or Tips on How Not to Blog

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. I have broken the cardinal rule of blogging, which is, well, not blogging, or failing to blog. I could say that I've been busy with work (true), or I've had visitors (also true) but the reality is that it's mostly been plain 'ole writer's block (aka perfectionism/procrastination/paralysis). I find a million other things to do instead of putting my thoughts down on “digital paper”. They say we're our own worst critic but sometimes it’s like I have two TV sportscasters (let's call them Frank and Joe) in my head and instead of sports they're giving me instant replays and analysis and commentary on every little thing that I do or don't do. And if I can't do something perfectly, or exactly right, forget it. Drop it. Don't do it at all.

Luckily, since I started working for myself I've learned a few tools for when I get stuck like this (although sometimes it takes a while to get around to them – thanks Katie for nudging me!). First, I fire Frank and Joe (these little rascals tend to sneak back in when I'm not paying attention!). Second, I get out my bag of "tricks". These are little stunts I pull to "fool" my mind into doing things, like telling myself to forget about all the mistakes until the end and just write. Other times I'll need to bring in the big guns (multiple calls to my action partner). Setting a deadline or a specific date for me to post on my blog has also helped (not always). But every week it's like I'm starting from scratch. The pen feels like it weighs 800 pounds. The computer is covered in kryptonite, and I’m Superman.

When it comes to my business, the same thing happens. There are tasks that feel so easy to do (playing around with pictures and colors and fonts for my new, soon-to-be-released logo; web surfing in the name of "market research", checking email every 5 seconds) while others are frightening (usually the ones that lead to actually generating income, like making a list of target clients and writing marketing proposals). If I put things off long enough the anxiety will slowly rise, until all I want to do is run for the hills, or hide under the covers with a gallon of cookie dough ice cream. I could do that. But a better option is to break down my scary projects into small, manageable tasks and put each one in some sort of time line.

So for my blogging, I could break each post down into parts and give myself a deadline for each. And then put it all in my Outlook Calendar:
1-make a list of 3 possible topics (Monday)
2-research them to see which one works best (Tuesday)
3-make an outline of what the blog post will be about (Wednesday)
4-write the damn thing! (Thursday)
5-edit, and let it rip (Friday)

As I read this I'm already judging it, saying "oh no, it shouldn't take me that long!" And maybe it won't, but at least I have a little system in place to get me started.

The truth is, no one single tool works best. I need to have a number of systems in place. I need a lot of support, and I don't like doing things by myself. Which was the thinking behind the new Dream Project Intensive workshops I launched last month (see pictures). I wanted to offer support to other entrepreneurs that were suffering like me by forming a group that would make its members accountable for the tasks they wanted to accomplish. At the first one there were 9 people sharing their ideas for a business, and it was a total blast. So I decided to do a follow-up last week focused on setting goals then breaking them down into actions. This is no easy task, mostly because in our head we see things more complicated than they really are. So when someone got stuck during the meeting, the group came up with a slew of possibilities and suggestions, or simply asked additional questions to get more clarity around it.

We also used what I call the back-tracking method: we started out with the end goal and then backtracked from there, thinking about the steps we would need to take just before that, and then the ones just before that, and so on until we get to the present. It worked! Everyone ended up with a short list of actions to take until we meet again in a month.

Not to be left behind, I set some goals for this month as well. One of them is (you guessed it) to faithfully post at least one entry on my blog per week. Wish me luck!

Do you have a trick you use to get past perfectionism/procrastination/paralysis? Please share it!

Beating the Lonely Entrepreneur Syndrome

Laurel Touby, who I've written about before (Mediabistro: Timeline to Success) built a multi-million dollar empire to counter the loneliness she felt as a freelance writer. She organized parties for journalists - other lonely people like her - and made a huge business out of it (Laurel's featured in this month's Inc. Magazine: "How I Did It").

Marci Alboher recently wrote a blog post about how it's so much better to have someone teach you things than to learn them by yourself (see My Technology Training Program). Business tasks (or anything, really) are definitely more fun if you're sharing them with someone else.

In addition to learning or companionship, I also need "peeps" for guidance and support. As a new entrepreneur I have to make decisions every day, and am faced with the prospect of taking actions that seem incredibly scary in my distorted mind. So aside from my weekly meetings with action partners (which I wrote about last week), I also check in every other day with my friend Andrew Deutsch (right).

Andrew has worked in sales for over twenty years (he also plays a mean jazz guitar and can shoot out jokes like it's open mike night at the Comedy Strip), and is now creating a training program for salespeople that he wants to "take on the road".

We help each other with the more general tasks of running our businesses, aka our "to do" lists. I've asked him for feedback on handling clients, and on venues for a workshop I'm giving next month. He patiently listens when I keep bringing up tasks (over and over again) that were supposed to have been completed (I'm happy to say I finally hired an accountant!).

In turn he's asked me to edit pitches, pick photos for his website and comment on his target market profile (I've also handled his occasional non-business-related dating dilemmas). My thinking can sometimes get faulty and I've been ready to toss out perfectly good ideas until he points out some benefit that I overlooked. And it's great to share my successes with someone I don't have to explain the whole story to.

Don Corleone had his consigliere, I have Andrew. Which is fortunate because I have a lot on my plate for this week, so I'm glad I don't have to do it alone!

A Plug for Action Partners

Remember back when we had to do homework in school? It would go something like this: We'd attend a class where the teacher would lecture on a specific topic, (ah, how I miss Biology and Accounting - not!) then there would be several chapters of new material to read followed by an exercise related to it. By the end of the semester - whether we liked it or not - we would have gained knowledge on a whole new subject matter.

That's kind of what I'm experiencing with my action partner, Nicole Rose (that's her below, photo credit: David Garvey, www.dgimagesltd.com). What's an action partner, you might ask. Well, before I go into that, let me give you a little background.

I met Nicole about 4 1/2 years ago when we both attended a course for entrepreneurs. She was just launching ODM, her graphic design and web development company, and I was in the initial stages of exploring the possibility of working for myself. It would take me a few more attempts before I took the plunge, but Nicole has had her business up and running since then. We've bumped into each other through the years at various networking events, but when I saw her in January I was going through a bad case of "generalized business plan preparation anxiety", so I asked her for a little guidance. She pointed out that she was actually in the process of revising her own plan, so why not work on them together?

We immediately agreed to meet the following week. After our first session, however, doubts started popping up. Was I ready to divulge every little detail of my master plan to someone else? Were our businesses too similar? Wouldn't we be going after the same clients? Wouldn't that be a conflict? Trust has always been an issue for me - it took me years and a few painful market downturns to finally admit I needed to hire someone to assist me with my investments. I do my own manicures and pedicures because "no one can do them better them me" (yeah right). And I could have avoided one or two painful heartbreaks had I listened to my friends' dating advice. But I am getting better at it. I brought up my concerns to my new action partner, and Nicole, so much the wiser, confidently allayed my fears. She didn't see conflicts, and, realizing I had much more to gain than to lose, I jumped on the bandwagon.

Little did I know how effective our arrangement would be. We've had about 7 meetings so far, each time tackling a different section of our business plans, sharing our "homework" and giving each other feedback. If we feel stuck on something we ask for help and usually find a solution between the two of us. Then we plan our assignments for next time. Having that task in mind helps to spark ideas during the week, and even more stuff pops up when I'm doing the research and writing it down, so it's like my brain is on steroids. This week I came up with a novel approach for art galleries to promote their openings, which will help me target them as clients, and I've added a few more elements to a proposal I have for a magazine I'd like to prospect. Sometimes these new ideas seem too big for me, like a beautiful gown that doesn't quite fit. But I'm not judging them. My task is to put them down on paper and then let the Universe conspire to help me "grow into" my fancy dress.

Nicole and I have also decided to swap some services, like she'll help me with the design of my logo and signature, and I'll help her with her e-newsletter and online social networking strategy. We're doing this as if we were each other's clients, so we get to test out our services and give ourselves feedback on the process. Nicole, for example, has amazing customer service - from her follow-up communications to her proposals - even the recording on her voice mail makes her look and sound professional.

On my own, working on my business plan felt like lifting an 800 pound gorilla. But together with Nicole and our weekly meetings I'm making major progress. In fact, it's been such a positive experience that I've taken on another action partner (yes, I admit it, when it comes to business, I've become a polygamist!). Constance Gustke is a writer and journalist who, like me, got her start in Wall Street but has since moved on to cover design, technology and the luxury lifestyle market. We both have separate web business concepts that we'd like to develop, so for the past three sessions we've brainstormed and plotted and mapped out ways to make things happen for us. Constance calls us the "Laverne and Shirley of the 21st century."

So if you want to get things done, my advice is don't do it alone! Find someone you have something in common with and then, buckle up for the ride! Do you have structures in place to help you with your projects? Please share them!

Who's your action partner?

Fat, Broke and Lonely No More! That's the title of a new book by Victoria Moran, a woman I had the pleasure of meeting about a year ago and who has been an true inspiration to me. She did a book signing yesterday at Barnes & Noble which was delightful. Not only did she grace us with tidbits of her own brand of humorous wisdom from the book but she also had her friend sing a beautiful song that soothed our stressed out New York souls.

During the Q&A she spoke about how, when she's in writing mode, she usually works from Starbuck's because there's a lot of people around her but they want nothing from her (unlike at her home!). As a solopreneur I often feel isolated spending so many hours by myself in front of my computer. When my family stayed over for a visit recently I realized that even though they were a bit distracting, I still managed to get things done. As a matter of fact, I was even more productive. I get a lot of positive energy from people, and one way I can incorporate that into my routine is how Victoria does it: she has what she calls an action partner and they call each other every morning at 6:30am to share their actions for the day. Afterwards she has a good breakfast (one of the reasons she's so slim, she says), exercises and finds time to meditate, most days. That routine gets her ready for the work of the day.

The Mogulettes are my action partners, but I also have a wonderful list of supportive friends that I need to remember to call to keep me focused and on track on a daily basis. How do you stay connected and motivated? Please share your thoughts!